How to Cope With Anxiety During the Two Week Wait
Whether you are trying to conceive naturally or using assisted reproductive technology such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) or intrauterine insemination (IUI), it can be stressful waiting to hear news about a possible pregnancy. The two-week wait, or the time in between ovulation and possible fertilization of your egg, can be full of uncertainty and anxiety. You may find yourself continually checking for signs and symptoms of pregnancy or constantly ruminating over the mutually exclusive outcomes – pregnant or not pregnant.
Coping mechanisms are important to address as this time period can be extremely difficult and many patients start to feel themselves spiraling out of control and overwhelmed with anxiety.
Strategies to help you through the two week wait:
Find Distractions
Try to stay in the moment and take one thing at a time. If you find yourself consumed with lots of thoughts, set a timer for 5 minutes and let yourself feel all of your feelings. Then, distract yourself for an hour – read a book, watch TV, or cook a fun recipe. The goal is to eventually increase this time distracting yourself into longer stretches and let your mind rest from the stress.
Make a plan
Make a plan and decide how you want to handle whichever outcome you may face. Not only will it give you a sense of control in the moment, but it will also allow you to respond to your results in a rational way.
Compartmentalize your worry time
Try to compartmentalize your worry time. This is known as the ‘24-hour rule.’ For example, if you spent all day Tuesday worrying about your results, tell yourself that you will finish worrying again on Wednesday, 24 hours later. This gives structure to when you’re thinking about the two-week wait and also, like the first strategy, gives your brain a rest from the stress.
Positive Reappraisal Coping Intervention (PRCI)
Another strategy I often recommend to help manage emotions is the Positive Reappraisal Coping Intervention (PRCI). A study in the early 2000s found that women undergoing IVF who implemented this strategy during their two-week wait ultimately experienced less effects from the strain of waiting for their pregnancy results than women who did not implement this strategy.
PRCI encourages you to actively think about positive aspects of infertility or fertility treatment. By focusing on the positive aspects of a difficult situation, you are choosing to take account of the good aspects alongside the negative aspects of your circumstance. Taking time to remind yourself that even very challenging situations have some positive elements will help you feel better during the two-week wait.
I like this tool because it’s not just toxic positivity– the two-week wait is very hard and we’re not trying to deny that or pretend it isn’t. It’s a pragmatic approach that acknowledges the difficulty of the situation while not letting you sit only in negativity.
Lean into your support system
If you’re struggling to focus on positive aspects of your fertility journey, you’re not alone. You might try to focus on the support you have received from friends and family. Or, maybe your relationship with your partner has strengthened significantly during this shared experience. There may be other examples that are personally important to you and, ultimately, they will differ depending on your personal circumstances. If it’s helpful, you can write these positive thoughts on a card and carry them with you so you can read and repeat them throughout the day whenever you find yourself in need of some support.
Be kind to yourself!
Any coping strategy may take some time to become a natural part of your routine so be kind to yourself as you start to implement these. Practice these techniques regularly and you will hopefully find yourself not dwelling so much on the uncertainty of your situation and cultivating a calm and relaxing mental state during your two-week wait.
Joining a community and finding others in the ttc community can also be very helpful. Connecting with others who really understand what you’re going through and have been through it themselves can help you to feel validated and seen. We can feel disconnected or frustrated if we reach out to friends or family and feel as if they don’t really get it. Finding your tribe and building out supports to include those that really understand this can make a huge difference in the experience. There are many resources available online to connect with others or feel free to message me directly and I can point you in the right direction.
